CycloFemme Version 2.0

Category_Humour Category_Mind

Right – so it’s a new year – and like millions of other folk across the globe I have decided today is the first day of the rest of my life (insert air punch here)!

After an afternoon of psyching myself up which involved eating all the junk food in the house to avoid ‘wasting’ it and having pizza for dinner with Susan from upstairs, I woke up this morning, hit the ‘snooze’ button on my mobile phone and rolled over to go back to Sleepinsville. Luckily last night’s self had out-witted this morning’s self and put another alarm clock in the bathroom which started playing This is it! by Danni Minogue. Because I am terrified of losing my ‘cool cat lady’ status in my unit block I leapt out of bed and staggered into the bathroom to turn it off. I immediately tripped over the pile of cycling kit (and butt crème!) I had lying in wait and had a serious self-talk while sitting on the toilet (so glamorous!).

Then totally ‘yeah, I can do this!’ I weighed myself …. MISTAKE I am the heaviest I have ever been, now that’s a nasty way to start the new year.

It took me a further 41 minutes to slap on my warrior lipstick, feed the cat, wander downstairs, unlock my garage and get onto my beautiful Bianchi roadbike and on the way to Brisbane’s riverloop. The excuses I manufactured to not get even get on my bike were sensational! First of all my cap didn’t match my kit; then my cordless earphones wouldn’t sync up; the cat looked lonely; and my favourite (and personal low-point) was it’s too late to go now!

One of the most important things for me to do in these diary entries is not lie … it was AWFUL! I’m not saying it was terrible when it was only a little bit bad – it was gut wrenching, demoralizing, tear inducing, humiliating and hideous! I was astounded by how many times I had to be really stern with myself and say ‘no, you are NOT going to take a short-cut’ and how many times I had to have a little stop because I had black spots before my eyes.

My ride-time for 40kms was just over 2 hours – sigh … I used to do it in an hour and a half.

My original plan was to do a riverloop at least once a week before work – based on how long it took and how wrecked I am today – my plan has changed to do one riverloop each weekend until I get back some stamina. It’s a bit of a blow, but I’m in this for the long haul so I need to be sensible. Being an adult is the worst L

Before anyone asks, no I really don’t want any company for next little while! I need to get myself into gear, have serious little talks with myself while I’m on the bike and just have my own expectations to meet! So – if you see me on my beautiful Bianchi, my lovely Rocky Mountain dual mountain bike or even my (fake) Colnago steelie with my lippy on, going excruciatingly slow and trying to not cry, give me a cheery wave and an ‘atta girl to get me up the next hill!

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